So much can happen in a week that I feel like I need to update my life more often than every 7 or so days. And I know one week from today, my life will be completely different. My husband is terrible at surprises. He originally told me that he was planning on surprising me because he's getting sent home early from his deployment and that I should expect him sometime before Valentine's Day. He told me on Tuesday that he'd be home within the week. Well, I already know, from talking to his family, that he told them he'd be home in February, so.. that pretty much leaves Sunday and Monday that he'll be home! Although.... he told me this Tuesday morning, which was his Tuesday night, so I guess there could be a chance that he'll be home Tuesday as well. We will see. And I'm SO excited :)

I've been trying to get the house ready for his arrival. I had kicked him out of our closet because he was supposed to be deployed til July, then he was going to get home and we'd start packing up to PCS to GA so I figured I could throw his clothes in a basket and call it a day. I started going through my clothes and seeing what I don't wear and what I could get rid of to squeeze him back in there. It was a success. I did it!

As much as I hate that G had to leave a few weeks after Ry was born, I think the timing was perfect. I don't suggest that every new mom rid of her husband for the first few months (lol) however, I think our space was really helpful and may help preserve our marriage from stress and fights due lack of sleep. Think about it.. I've been so used to having Ryan 24/7 that if G is at work all day and I'm having just an awful day with Ryan, I won't be shoving him in G's face the second he gets home because I can't take it anymore. I've had those days and I now know how to just sit and let both of us cry it out. I was able to take my time getting Ryan into his crib without ruining any intimacy with the stress of co-sleeping. I've changed so many diapers to the point that I don't even mind doing it and it's fun time I get to spend with Ryan. We have our schedule in tact and I've figured out how to handle life with Ryan at my side and to rely on outside childcare-which is big because the army schedule is ever-changing and even with G home, I probably won't be able to count on him 100%.  And now I am so ready to share every little moment with my hubby-stress free. And.. he still gets to be here when Ry learns to crawl, eat food, talk and all those other major milestones coming towards us in the next year :)

His face is changing so much!! Can't believe it

This week, we had the most successful bath time!! He usually screams the second I get his little toes-ies touching the water, but this week, we tried a new tactic. I got him in the tub with me. I sat down holding his itty bitty body close to mine for that skin to skin comfort, and some extra warmth, since bath time gets chilly. I held him and sang to him and when he was all happy and smiling, that's when I started dunking those feet into the water and completely wiping him down. It was a win.

I've had a couple mommy fails in the past 2 weeks. The first one is a scary one. I've let Ryan sleep with his blanket because it's been below zero outside and his room gets so incredibly cold in there. I turn the heat up and it only seems to turn my bedroom and the family room into saunas and every other room is icy. His hands and feet are icicles when he wakes up from naps, so I've been putting his blanket on his legs when he goes to sleep for warmth, and because he likes to suck on it to self soothe. One morning, I heard him crying at 3am. Not unusual. He usually wakes me up with tears and I let him cry it out and go back to bed. However, his tears started sounding more frantic than his routine sleepy/angry/why-won't-you-pick-me-up cries. I ran into his bedroom and saw his blanket was over his face. I pulled it off and saw how scared he looked and picked him up and held him close. I let him sleep with me after that. MOMMIES: ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT! I knew something didn't sound right and it haunts me thinking about what would have happened if I just tried to let him "cry it out". You get to know the difference between cries of your baby so if a cry sounds different that what you're used to, check it out to be safe!!! Please. Since then, I've been super careful with blankets. I still give him a blanket (I know, you're probably thinking I'm an idiot) but it's just too cold in there not to when the temperature is this low. I'm kind of in a lose-lose situation. Alaska problems much?

My second mommy fail... Sooo.. I sing to my baby. A lot. When I'm changing his diaper, I'm mostly just making up goofy songs about whatever pops into my head, or I'll sing about what I'm doing while I change him (putting on socks, wiping that little butt, snapping up one-sies, etc.) Here's a song that I found myself singing:

I love you. You love me. We're a happy family. I need to pull your skin so your peepee doesn't stick. I don't want to re-circumsize your.....

I stopped. I did not say the final word. (Read previous blogs about why I have to pull his penis skin down). Sometimes I wonder why I have a child. My husband should be so proud of his loving wife...

Ry is such a wiggle worm these days!!! He decided that he no longer likes rolling. Over it. He's done it twice maybe in the last 2 1/2 weeks. But he's now always on his side. He just lays on his side and kicks around until his head is facing a totally different direction. Before, I could put toys in his crib on one end and lay him on the other and he was fine. Nope. No more, he's way too squirmy and never wakes up in the spot that I put him in, or even facing the same way. Such a munchkin. He's going to be crawling before I know what hits us. Then the fun starts... I feel so sorry for myself and the dogs already.

Belly using him as a pillow for her princess face

Last week at the gym, I had a woman come up to me after teaching a class. She has a baby who is maybe a month older than Ryan and she said I looked so good and asked what my secret was. It caught me off guard. I don't have a secret. I work my butt off (literally). I told her I'm just constantly working out and when I don't work out, I'm always on my feet running from one chore to the next. She said that she works full time and has two kids. For me, that's a red flag. If you're going to make excuses as to why you can't work out, then there really isn't much advice I can give you in regards to losing that baby weight. GET TO THE GYM! We forget that by nature, we are mammals that are meant to move our bodies. It's the whole essence of survival. The only problem is that society has evolved to try to tell us we can live without moving. My doctor said it best: Exercise is the solution to most problems and people don't utilize that concept like they should. So that is my advice. Keep your body moving. Find what works for you and SCHEDULE TIME. It doesn't have to be every single day, but it should be at least 3 times a week. And I think when you have kids, that's the most important time to make time for yourself to work out. You need to model behavior to your children and demonstrate that an active lifestyle is a healthy lifestyle. It is not selfish to make gym time for yourself to preserve your life to last longer for your family. Just do it!

Also that day at the gym, I had the WORST experience with another female. Okay, so this is probably karma. I'm not a baby/kid person, and I never was. I'm sure during my days at a teen or in college or whenever, I've probably given dirty looks to moms with crying babies or screaming kids (I still do sometimes depending on the situation-I definitely think there are certain places and events that are inappropriate for children and I hate the parents that bring them to these certain settings. But that's another rant for another day). I had to teach Zumba Saturday morning. My sitter cancelled last minute and I tried to message everyone I knew asking if they could take Ryan, and they couldn't. This gym HAS NO FREAKING CHILDCARE. (Seriously, what kind of gym are you?) The only person that I knew who could watch him was already coming to my class and she said she'd be happy to hang in back with him while I taught. Perfect. I bring him with me and the front desk girl tells me I can't bring him into class. I said my sitter was meeting me there and asked if I could go get set up for class while we waited for her. I told her I was the instructor for the day and my sitter cancelled on me last minute and no one else was available. She said he wasn't even allowed in that room. And she didn't say it politely. To say this girl was a bitch is an understatement. I have another word in mind for her behavior, however I'll keep it to myself.

I called my sitter and apologized profusely saying she won't let Ry in the room and how sorry I was. Thankfully, my friend is awesome and said she didn't mind staying by the benches with him in the "lobby" area and switch off with another friend that was in class. I asked this desk lady if they could just stay in the benches. "As long as they don't go anywhere else. They have to stay there." Great, that's totally fine. Whatever. I look up to the track. There is a girl running on the track with her stroller. Um.. I just got such a freaking hard time for having my baby IN THE LOBBY and here is this girl with a baby amongst other people working out. I go back up to bitch girl. "Can they be on the track with him? There's a girl up there with a stroller." "Yes, but he can't be parked, he has to be moving." OBVIOUSLY. Like any normal person would put a baby down and run on a track while he sits in the middle of strangers. This girl was just so rude. She hated me for whatever reason, and I guess she was giving dirty looks to my amazing sitters the entire time. I wanted to go up to her and say, "You obviously don't have kids. And when you do, I hope you get triplets."

Oh, and while I was teaching, I guess the other front desk guy made a call about me to a supervisor and ended the convo with, "I'll have a talk with her." He didn't. And he's freaking lucky. I'm sorry, what am I going to do? Cancel a class of 30 people? This is my job. It's not like I'm some participant whose sitter cancelled and just decided to go to the gym anyway. No. And I'm not just some hired civilian either. I'm an army wife who's husband is deployed who had been trying to raise this baby alone and this freaking gym is the only one without a child care, and none of the CDCs are open on the weekends. I messaged our lead instructor and told him about the situation. He was awesome about it and apologized that they gave me such a hard time and that I did what I had to do. Amen.

I'm sorry to all the moms that came into VS and I probably got annoyed with as they shopped with screaming children. If you are reading this and you don't have kids, do us moms a favor and be nice. I'm sorry you have to listen to my baby scream for approximately 5 mins, however I have to listen to it all day. It must be nice for you to go home to your quiet house, enjoy your favorite tv show and sleep soundly through the night. We don't get that. We get one cup of coffee thrown at us that says, "here, you only get one, hope this lasts you through the day!" And I get it, it was our choice to have babies. Yes. I chose to have a baby. I love my baby. And if people didn't chose to have babies, we'd have no people left. It's a part of life! It's unavoidable if we want to keep from going extinct, so don't use that line against us.

I LOVE HIS SMILES!!!!

And moms. Stop apologizing for your babies. Babies have bad days. We've all been there. They are perfect little angels until the second they're in public and suddenly they become a nightmare out of no where. It's NOT YOUR FAULT. If people give you dirty looks, just smile politely and secretly wish triplets upon them (there is nothing wrong with having triplets, but I assume the added stress is good karma for people who give you a hard time about your kid). Raise your heads high. Even make a joke about it like, "Oh, it's one of those days!" or "At least you don't have to go home with it." But smile and be charming about it. Be a proud mama because if you don't sit there and support your child, no one will. And no screaming baby should ever be left to fend for him/herself. It's a good habit to get into for when they get older and the whole world of peers and other parents try to turn against them. It's a cruel world out there, so always always always make your little one know they you're on their team. No matter what.


I still have more to write about, but I'll save it for another day. I think I've babbled enough for this post. MY HUSBAND WILL BE HOME IN LESS THAN 5 DAYS! xoxoxo to my readers.