Four Month Check Up

Okay you guys, I'm am SO OVER this whole "single" mom thing. I'm tired. I'm stressed. I'm annoyed. Not with my baby, but with EVERY little thing falling on my shoulders. Last week was such a stress. Not only did I start it off terribly with that day care mishap, but between legal feuds, drs appts, more day care issues, and doggie necessities, things kept piling up, taking up time, and adding to my "to do" list. I rarely have time to sit and relax, and when I finally get that time, it seems to be the only time Ryan gets fussy. Things are just building and building and it's making me so extremely tired and worn out. My morning coffees don't even seem to make an impact on my day. I purposely waited for coffee today so I could go to Starbucks during Ryan's nap and read. As soon as we got there, he woke up so my morning time was spent with him. I'm wearing down pretty quickly right about now. However, we may have some good news coming our way which I'm holding back on announcing until things are 100% (not pregnant) so it'll be good! But again, it's another GIANT stress. I think if plans fall through, I'll be crushed. At this point, I'm not sure if I can handle any more bad news or last minute changes of plans.

I had another mishap with a different child center on Wednesday. I went to get Ryan and he was sitting in a girl's lap. I picked him up and he reeked of cigarettes. Not okay. Why do child centers hire these incapable girls to be in charge of another being's life??? It's so frustrating having him exposed to such dangerous situations when I don't even leave him for more than an hour and a half at a time. Seriously, it's not like an all day adventure. It really shouldn't be that easy to completely eff up.

Friday we had his four month check up. As soon as our dr came and and talked, Ryan burst into tears. I have a theory that he's scared of men's voices. It's happened before at the day care when another dad came in and started talking. Poor kid. Makes sense-he's stuck with me all day. If I have anyone over, it's more spouses and everyone at the CDCs are women. No men. Anyway, our dr said that our boy is big and healthy!!! He's a whopping 17 lbs! In the 84th percentile! And he's 24 inches long. Our dr looked at all of his stats and told me, "He's perfect." He IS perfect. Very perfect. I love my big boy and I love that I'm managing to keep him in line and healthy.

He's so grown up too. I can't believe he just sees his toy, grabs it, puts it in his mouth and silently plays with it. It seems like just yesterday I was soooo excited that he would hold a toy I wrap his fingers around. I watch him play and it amazes me. His grip is insanely strong! He actually gave me a titty twister last week when I was trying to feed him and I screamed out to the point that it scared him and he cried. It hurt!!! And he likes to pull my hair and try to shove it in his mouth, too. No fun.

The other day, I got my hair cut and my hair dresser was another mother co-sleeper. It's so refreshing to find another mom out there who can't get the damn "back is best" concept to work with her baby. She's had three children all of whom she co-slept. I'm still trying to get him to sleep in the crib and all, but it was just nice talking to someone who doesn't give you that look. You know. That look. We are progressing though! He's made it to midnight now a few times in the crib. And, when we're home, all nap times are in the crib as well. (Of course, right now as I'm typing, the commercial on TV says that the crib is the safest way to sleep. I even have ads coming into my own damn home telling me I'm a terrible mom. Thanks a lot, NBC. I get the point.) We'll get all the way through the night at some point. And then we'll move and everything will be complete chaos all over again. The joys of life. There's always something..

Ughhhh another stress to add this week... Ryan still has to get his next round of shots. I didn't get them until the 14th last time, so I have to wait for that date now.. Why they didn't schedule our appt on the 14th so I could do them both at the same time? I don't know. They only do pediatric shots on M/W/F and Wed we already have a vet appt and I teach that day, so it looks like Friday I'll have to take him in somewhere in between me waiting around all freaking day long for the window people to come for the THIRD time now to measure a window that needs to be replaced (they've mismeasured twice now..) and the hours that they're open.

I must say, I have no mommy fails to post this week. I've been pretty on top of it-well, as on top of it as I can be, running every which way solving everyone else's problems. No doubt, I'm about to break, but not today. Another day down. Another day somehow figured out. And now my baby is crying.. So it looks like I have no time for baby pics this time. Until later loves. Here's to hoping this week isn't nearly as strenuous as last.