It's October!! It's my favorite time of the near. Not only is it my birthday month, but it's my mom's and my baby girl's bday month, too-so lots to celebrate. Aside from birthdays, it's the month of pumpkins (I will eat pumpkin spiced anything!!!) and it's breast cancer awareness month. With that in mind, I figured I'd use this opportunity to rant about my breast feeding experience-especially since studies have linked breast feeding with a reduced risk of breast cancer.
As I've mentioned, after having the whole lower half of my body exposed for all the world to see during labor, it really didn't phase me afterwards if nurses walked in while my boobs were out and I was getting ready to breastfeed. However, the most uncomfortable part was meeting the lactation specialist for the first time. Now, I worked at Victoria's Secret, so I'm familiar with being professional when it comes to other women's lovely lady lumps. This situation was way more awkward than any boobie encounter in my life. She wanted to watch me breast feed to make sure Ryan was latching the correct way. Normal. What wasn't normal was her response to seeing my breast.
She looked at me like I was a big, juicy steak. She told me I had the most perfect nipples for breastfeeding. Now that's normal for a lactation specialist to comment on, however the way she stared at me and her seductive, slow speech saying, "You have.... the most PERFECT.. nipples.... for breastfeeding," creeped me out. It's like when you talk to that guy at the bar who can't stop staring at your chest. I wanted to tell this woman, "My eyes are up here, lady!" The whole time we talked, she stared and commented on my boobs and the shapeliness of my nips in her soft voice and deep gaze. It was incredibly uncomfortable. It's one thing to be passionate about your job... but I don't need you to take that passion out on my topless body. Thank you.
One thing she did say was that Ryan and my boobs were a perfect match for breastfeeding, and we really have been! From the start, I knew I wanted to give breast feeding a shot-as I think everyone should because breast milk is the healthiest option for your little one (I understand there are lots of situations where breast feeding isn't always an option for mommy-so don't get all defensive on me and tell me about your situation) and after taking such good care of him in my belly for 9 months, why would I throw it away on formula? It'd be like, why buy the packaged version of chocolate chip cookies when you can have homemade-fresh baked, out of the oven? (For those of you that have to formula feed-formula is perfectly healthy and your baby will definitely be fine-again, don't hate. I've done my research.) However, when I started breast feeding, I totally understood why some moms choose to formula feed.
Everything was sore. Moving hurt. I got engorged-which feels like you have breast implants, I imagine. Hard. My nips felt bruised. And it was just plain annoying feeding every hour or so. Every book I read said to give it two weeks before giving up on. I'm so glad I did! They were right. Now that we're 3 1/2 weeks in, it's so easy. And, it doesn't hurt. I mean, yes-it sucks that I'm kind of a boob slave to my child in the sense that if he sleeps too long, I start to drip through my clothes-which is totally embarrassing! However, I always have a way to feed him as long as he's with me. I don't have to worry about preparing a bottle or making a last minute run with a screaming child because we're out of formula. Plus, it's free. Makes it a little easier to adjust financially for now.
As for breast feeding in public-I'm still a little hesitant. I've fed him in my car before and today, I fed him out at lunch with a blanket over us while we ate our food. I think if people (men) have a problem with women breast feeding in public-they can just suck it. This makes up for us not being able to pee standing up. If you guys can easily whip it out and do your thing, now, so can we. The hesitant part is 1. I would be totally unprepared and taken aback if someone were to come up and criticize me while feeding. I honestly don't know what I'd say or respond with. When you're exposed in public, I have a feeling it's not so easy to be bold and confident. But who knows? Maybe there's some maternal hormone that makes you say: I'm naked and I'm going to go ape shit on your ass. I haven't gotten to that point yet. 2. High school boys. I really don't feel like having some pervy teenagers trying to check out my rack if I have a nip slip. Or high school guys. Or grown men. Or even the passionate lactation specialist who wants to try to compliment me again. Other than that, I'm all for stopping what I'm doing and getting cozy with my little one without having to plan trips around his schedule, or my leaky faucets.
Like I said, Ryan and I have been great feeding partners. It's amazing how easily it came to him from the start. You'd think he was taking a 9 month course on breast feeding in there. It's crazy to see a tiny little baby with no experience in this world have a natural instinct for survival. Nature amazes me. Now, when I feed him, he makes these adorable little sounds. Ya know when you're super dehydrated and get a class of water and almost sigh while drinking it because it tastes so good? He does little sigh noises like that every time. My heart-melting. It makes me hate mid-night feeds a little less.
Things that have helped me breast feed: switching between gel pads and disposable pads. Gel pads are easier to wear when going out and help moisturize so you don't get cracked nipples or anything, but disposable pads allow you to quickly whip it out and feed-whereas you have to get hot water and a cloth and wipe down the area before feeding with gel. Gets kind of annoying when he's crying for food.
Another thing I do that helps is keep track of when he eats and for how long on each side. I have been charting his eating and wet/dirty diapers every day since we left the hospital. It helps because I cannot for the life of me remember the times I feed him. When he's fussy and I realize it's getting close to that 2 hour mark, it makes it so much easier to decipher what this cry is about. I think if I didn't track down when I feed him, I'd either totally forget and let too much time pass between feedings or give into every cry with food and get him thinking he can eat every hour. Plus, I'm an insane, organized nut who likes to document things. It works for me.
Ryan will be 4 weeks (almost 1 month!) this weekend so I'll probably do another post with updates later on with pictures. I just wanted to rant about boobs for a little bit today. Again, don't hate on me if you aren't a breast feeding mom. Yes, I may judge you a tad if you choose packaged cookies over homemade without even attempting to bake, but at the end of the day, as long as your baby is fed and loved, that's all that really matters.
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