6 Weeks, and then some...

This past week has been a giant lesson for me in how to be a wife and a mother. It has not been an easy week. I don't even know where to begin. Let's start with my doctors appointment. I went to my postpartum check up and the midwife there basically was looking for any signs of depression. She pretty much told me that since I had makeup on and was dressed nicely (ah thank you) she wasn't concerned about me-which I also said she shouldn't be because I'm honestly handling things okay.

When I got home, my uncle called (my husbands side) and told me that my mother-in-law was in a coma and they had no way to get a hold of G. I told them I'd try to do what I could to reach my man who was deployed. Now 2:35 Alaska time means that it's the dead middle of the night my husbands time. I sent him a FB message and texted his phone to call me. I then contacted the American Red Cross emergency line to try to send a message about what happened and to contact his family.

Okay, small vent. I don't think an EMERGENCY line should have an option to put you on hold. Well, that's the first thing that I had to do. I'm sitting there, hands shaking from hearing such terrible news, on hold! Luckily, I didn't have to hold for long, however I was still a little annoyed. That, and I had 2 dropped calls during the process. Figures. So I give them all the info they need; I even call back with further info and what do they tell me? "They may or may not call you back." My question was how do I know if they contact my husband. That sounded reliable...

Daddy and son

It wasn't. This might not be accurate, however I was informed that they would contact people, who contact people, who contact my husband's unit overseas, who informs him. Well, instead, they contacted his unit back home who couldn't get a hold of anyone (which is why I called Red Cross in the first place because we couldn't reach anyone else). Basically, 11 hours later, I got an email saying they finally reached my husband who should be contacting me soon.

Before these 11 hours passed, I did everything I could think of to wake him up. I texted his phone probably 30 times hoping the noise would bother him. I even called his international phone, not caring about the charge, however it started talking to me in German, so I hung up. Turns out, his phone was turned off and didn't get any of the texts. Well, I had also skyped him another 30 times, hoping that noise would wake him up. I spent all of Thursday trying to get a hold of him, and just basically waiting for him to wake up.

He finally woke up and messaged me. Telling him that his mother was in a coma was probably one of the hardest things I've had to do. I had to type it (I really don't think I could have gotten the words out of my mouth) and wait for him. Knowing I couldn't be there to just hold him and let him talk was heart breaking. Being so far from someone you love while they hurt is nothing short of miserable. I knew he was breaking, and I could do nothing.

We started making arrangements for both of us to go home. This is where I am so grateful for the Army. They may eff you over a few times and give you the run around and crappy services, however this case made up for all the screw ups we've been through. They not only paid for G's ticket home, they arranged and paid for mine AND baby Ryan's. I know traveling with an infant under the age of 1 is free, but when I got to the gate to arrange my seats, I found out that they booked us two seats for extra room. I nearly burst into happy tears. Also, I had amazing support on base where spouses took care of my pups last minute, knowing I have no set date when I'll be back. Making everything come together in less than 24 hours was so stressful (just look at the zits on my face) and seeing people pull through for you in a time of need is priceless.

Okay, so I had to fly with my 6 week old son for the first time. Thoughts? I was terrified he'd be the baby on the plane screaming the whole time. Guess what? He did AMAZING. Our first flight to Minneapolis was 5 hours. He slept for 4, and the last hour, we played quietly until we landed. However, after we docked (docked? I know it wasn't a boat, but whatever) and I had to get our stuff situated, he started to freak out. We were in the very last row. Last ones to get out. The plane was super hot, I had no space to try to squeeze him into my ergo carrier and he was not feeling it. I had to walk to the back and bounce him around until pretty much everyone else left. The second flight was only 2 hours, and he slept the whole time. Like I said, this baby was AMAZING. I was very very very relieved.

Baby's first flight!! He did so well. 

I'll stop with the play by plays, otherwise we'd be here forever. After circling the international terminal a million times, we found Greg. We made a few stops then went over to the hospital. The next day, his mother passed. I tend to be a very emotional person, and I never thought I could be that person that someone can rely on in times like this, but I held myself together and did my best just to be there while everyone said their goodbyes. I shake thinking about this moment. Because we're never really around his family, living half a country away in the middle of the arctic tundra, I sometimes don't feel too much like a wife because I usually just go home to my family for certain occasions. I sometimes just feel like a girlfriend, best friend, roommate, or even fiancé, but that day, I felt like a wife. I realized that I have a whole second half of family (some I never even met til that weekend) which I am a part of, and watching my husband's mother die, is watching my mother die.

This week, the family made funeral arrangements for this Saturday. G's mom did not have life insurance, nor assets to cover the cost of the funeral, nor is she married. We found out it's going to cost the family $14K for everything. Actually, not everything-a lot of fees were wavered. We are going to split the cost with his uncle, however it's still a lot of money all of a sudden to have to pay-for both halves. We started an online site for donations in case any friends or family are willing to help us out (click here to donate). We are appreciating all of the support we've been receiving so far. It's amazing how moments like these show people's true colors.

Selfiessss. This is only half the family. 

I must say, despite the reason why we had to come home, it really is nice that both G and I are home with our baby hanging with his side of the family and getting to know them more than the few times we've hung out-and also letting Ryan meet his new aunts, uncles and cousins! I really didn't think the opportunity for Ryan would come until we were out of Alaska so I'm blessed that he's able to bond with family even sooner. He's one spoiled baby! And loving every second of it :)

Okay, so this baby has prevented me from writing this all in one sitting. I have no idea if I said all that I need to say, if my paragraphs even get to the point, or if things flow at all. My main points: being a wife means a whole lot more than saying, "I do", this week has been the hardest week of our lives, and I'm glad Ryan is meeting his family. Yeah, there's my conclusion. Time to change some poop!