Week of Chaos

When I said before that child birth was the worst pain in the world, I lied. Last Monday, my husband came home with news that he was deploying on Sunday (today, aka six days from said date) rather than the 15th. From the beginning of knowing about the deployment, we were told that he'd get to skip training and stay behind until mid-October so he could be with his new son and spend time adjusting with his new family. Hell, even the Friday before, he was told that it was still looking like October was happening. When he came home from work and told me the news that our time together was cut 2 1/2 weeks short, I felt like I got kicked in the chest- I couldn't breathe. I broke down. I would gladly go through childbirth again just to have those extra weeks given back to us. I wouldn't even think twice about this bargain. We hadn't prepared anything. We needed more time.

I know in the military things happen last minute. Trust me, that's the first thing I learned about being an army spouse. This whole situation was such a cluster and there are a million details about this story that I won't get into right now. The only thing I will say about this is that it sucked. The worst part was that G had to work late every day, go in early every morning, then his "day off" on Friday meant him going into work twice. The few moments we had together were spent preparing for him leaving, such as going into AT&T or getting Ry Ry his passport. Not quite the way I wanted our last week together to go.

Look at me, I'm three weeks old today! (Yesterday)

G and I were able to spend our last night together in bed (hey now, don't be gross. I just had a baby 3 weeks ago) hanging out while my parents watched Ryan. Of course, after I sat and cried for the millionth time, I decided I wanted to spend my last night with him laughing, so we set up the tablet and youtube-d Impractical Jokers (if you are inappropriate like we are, then this show is freaking hilarious) and watched episode after episode in each others arms. It was perfection.

This morning was rough. Mostly because our baby did not want to sleep last night. Little monster! I got three hours of sleep maybe and G woke up at about 3:30 to take over while I tried to fit in a tiny nap before waking up to drop him off this morning. So after a 45 min power nap, I got dressed and the three of us drove over to the gym. We dropped off his bags, he walked me and Ryan back to the car, and I think I just stood there and cried while hugging him for about 5 minutes. Choosing which hug and kiss will be the last ones for a while is probably the hardest decision to make. You always want to fit in just one more.

He's now gone, and luckily my parents are here til Friday to help out with the baby. Thank god. This mama needs sleep and G was my only hope. I really have no idea how I'll manage once their gone. I'm going to have to cut out some of my day and attempt to nap. Ryan has had a couple fussy days and nights recently. I don't know if it's gas or what, but he's been a little grumpy boy.

He tends to pass the eff out in the same sleep position as his daddy

Other than that, last week, he had his 2 week check up. He weighed in at about 8.5 pounds! He's getting to be such a big boy. He still fits into his newborn clothes (he outgrew his smallest outfit) but he's looking less awkward in 0-3 month clothing. I can't take enough pictures of him in his cute clothes :)

He's already growing so big!!! And he's so aware. He went from freaking out at "playtime" to loving his turtle play mate and looking at so many different things. He stays awake for longer periods of time and just looks around and makes little noises. O.M.G. It's so adorable. I'm not a baby person, but I think he's the cutest thing ever. I can just sit and watch him. So precious.

Little munchkin enjoying tummy time

Mommy fail #1: My parents brought me back Garett's popcorn from Chi and I was eating it while breastfeeding. I looked down and saw crumbs all over my baby. I'm so terrible. Yes, I did eat them off of him.

Mommy fail #2: I think I'm getting sick. I tend to sneeze on him a lot when I breastfeed. I can't help it, there's only so much movement I can make when he has me caught by the nipple. I hope I don't give him my sick germs, although I'm sure he'd get them one way or another.

Mommy win: I cut his little finger nails last week without drawing any blood! Seriously, those things are so tiny.

Independent woman: learned how to use the Ergo all by myself

As for me, other than being tired and sad as f*#%, I'm doing well. I feel relieved. I no longer dread the wait for him to leave me. It's one less burden, so now I can just be sad and move forward. Also, I feel fully healed down there! Although, my bowels are still not treating me well and I still have that lochia going on-so gross. I feel like that should be over by now, but I guess not. Also, I'm smelly. I feel like I smell of tomatoes. I guess it's all the hormones mixed with breast milk stank. Hopefully it should go away soon. I swear I shower and wear deodorant!! Other than that, I feel I'm in good shape. I'm so ready to start working out again. I may do a light gym sesh this week if I'm feeling up to it. I have lots of energy and my body is almost already down to it's pre-baby size. Ahh the life of a fitness instructor :)

3 weeks pp. Looking good, feeling good, eating candy corn :)

As I said, I'm on 3 hours of sleep. Three. Tres horas. I don't have anything really quirky or inspiring to say. There's approximately 290 days until he comes home (give or take a few weeks?) so I am doing my #100happydays every day until he's home. It's a way for me to find a little sunshine in the midst of this tropical storm that is my life. It's almost the end of the month, which means this week, I will be formulating goals and adjusting my new life style. It's a big change, but let's face it, I'm not the first spouse to ever have to deal with this situation. It sucks, but we all go through it. Time to put on a strong face and get out there, and power through til summer.

Does any of this make sense? I hope so. It's past my bedtime. Goodnight my loves.