1.5 Meses

6-7 weeks old is probably my favorite age, ever! Why? Baby boy isn't teething, he's sleeping fairly well, he's really starting to use his voice and stay awake during the day longer (which isn't as terrible as I predicted it to be.. yet), he doesn't talk yet, which means he can't talk back! AND he's not crawling and getting into things yet. He's still just a little baby who's learning more and more each day.

Tomorrow he turns 8 weeks, and I can tell he's already changing. I sleep with him at night (take me away, I'm terrible!) and he has become SO INCREDIBLY SQUIRMY that I wake up to punches every morning. In the face. IN. THE. FAAAACE (the Hangover, anyone? anyone?) He's now starting to squirm when he's eating, which means not only am I getting kicked in the stomach, hips, legs, wherever, but I also have a fussy baby in my arms because my nipple keeps magically disappearing from his mouth.

G caught us snuggling one morning

He is such a little talker. Oh my. My heart can't handle how cute my whole family is-I think it may explode soon. He just talks up a storm to his hands, me, toys, or the tv. The noises and coos are so much stronger than they used to be. Today is Halloween and he's going to be a dinosaur. I think it'll be the perfect outfit for when he makes his pterodactyl mating calls that come out of him mostly when he's about to poop. I love this baby! I wish I could just have a baby. Like when you get a dog, they relatively stay a dog... they don't grow up, learn to yell at you, defy you, become old and run off and get married. Well, I want a baby who will just stay a baby. Now I understand why people keep popping them out. They probably think, "Damn, my child really isn't as cute as he was when he was a baby, let's just make another one so we can have a baby back in the house."

Speaking of seconds, I've considered greatly only having one baby for many selfish reasons. 1. My body and labor did not find each other cute. 2. These late night feeds also aren't cute. 3. I really don't think I will be able to handle this munchkin between ages 2 and 4 (originally where baby #2 would have come into play) 4. I already have 4 mouths to feed everyday, not including my husband. 5. I am terrified that my next baby will have a +1 attached to it. Call me crazy, but my biggest fear is more than one baby at a time. I only signed up for 2 as my maximum number of kids so if we get an extra surprise, I haven't quite started a savings account to hire a nanny. Plus, I'm an independent lady. I don't think I'd cooperate well with another person in my house on a day-to-day basis.

My little fall baby. Enjoying some leaves before we go back home to snow

Again, I haven't completely ruled out a second. Why? I still want a girl to dress up in bows and tutus. Also, I know it'd be awesome for Ryan to have a sibling to grow up with, especially since we plan to move every few years. AND when my little nephew who is four sees our Donut Baby, he is so freaking adorable with him (he gives baby Ry hugs and kisses and sings to him), it makes me want to have that in our family. Of course, there's the giant chance that Ry would be jealous of a baby instead of in love. I guess we'll see.

This would be the part where I discuss the process of baby making and what sex is like after a baby, however I think too many family members read this blog and I'm sure my husband wouldn't appreciate it either. I think I may save this topic for a rainy day, but here's a warning, I will write about it at some point because the main reason I started this blog was to show the reality of pregnancy, labor and motherhood rather than sugar coat things. To me, that was the most helpful part when it came to learning about pregnancy, and I'd like to pass the info along to other first-time mommy's (there's a Facebook group I'm in... I'm lame, I get it, but it was so incredibly helpful those 9 months!)

I'm still not yet back home to Alaska. I just booked my flight yesterday and I leave in one week-Nov. 6, Ry's 2 month... birthday? Aside from the circumstances as to why we came home, I've been enjoying my time with family. We got free tickets to go see the Blackhawks on Sunday which was awesome since G and I have never seen a game together. We've gone to Alaska Aces games, which suck so much they're fun. Personally, I'd rather watch a hockey game than any other sport. I even told myself in high school that I'd marry a hockey player. Of course, I now retract that statement because I don't want a man who takes out his teeth at night for another 5 decades or so. It was a very fun night! We also took our little man out to Cantigny to look at the WWII tanks and walk around Gen. McArthur's estate. We decided we're going to retire in our big house on a plantation in the south. Looks like I better start searching for a job!

Ry's first football game! Watching his uncle play :)

We've also just enjoyed each other's company. G leaves to go back overseas on Wednesday so I'm trying to soak him up as much as possible. I can't believe I have to say goodbye AGAIN. I'm back into a stage where I just want to burst into tears. We're already down 1 month, but another 8 months still a long ass time. The emotional stress of having to go through this AGAIN is annoying-just look at all the zits on my face and you'll be able to tell my state of being. Seriously, these last 5 weeks have just been incredibly unpredictable and not in our favor. I'm really doing my best not to fall apart and avoid contact with the outside world. I think when I get home, I'll get my little fur babies (I miss their faces) and spend a day on the couch just trying to decompress and get my life together.

I miss working out. I miss going to the gym and doing Zumba. I have lots of goals for November (including less sugar..yikes, more water, more protein and veggies, and getting my body back into shape-aka cardio, toning and flexibility). I start teaching again in December which is AWESOME and I can't wait. Although I can, because I've only worked myself back up to about 30 mins of Zumba. This "vacation" has been kind of a set back. Starting tomorrow, I'm going to start working out a little each day, and sticking to it! No more excuses. Which means today, I can binge eat Halloween candy (if there's no chocolate in it) and be a lazy bum. Last day. Ready, go.

As I said, next week I'll have a 2 month old baby. Where has the time gone??? He grows so much every day! My biceps can't keep up with him (another reason I've got to get back into shape). He's such a strong little man and slowly growing some baby fat. Before I know it, he's going to be walking. I caved and got What to Expect Your First Year. This book has been an incredible tool! I love it! No, I'm not one of those mom's who goes by the book and thinks there's a "right" and "wrong" for motherhood-which is why I love it. It gives so many tips and suggestions and offers stages that my baby may be at in this point of his life. It also clearly and repetitively states that not every baby is at the same pace and that's OKAY because it's not a competition, which makes me feel better about mothering as well. I strongly suggest it to anyone who craves knowledge like I do.

Once things settle down, I'll probably get to post more updates. I feel like there's so much I miss out on when writing. Life has been hectic, and it probably will be until the day before I leave. At times like these, it's best to take it one day at a time. Today, we're taking Ry Ry trick or treating and to my mom's school's Halloween parade. I'm glad his daddy at least gets to be here for one holiday. Until next time!