1-4 weeks.

I'm at 14 weeks and I'm feeling fantastic! I've really been watching what I eat and it's making a TOTAL difference in my energy levels and my mood (my husband appreciates that). Of course, I still think about napping maybe 75% of the day, but let's face it- I am going to be tired during this whole pregnancy, and that's that. 

People who don't see me every week probably don't even notice a difference (I can still hide!!) but my behind is growing and I used to have flat, flat, flat abs. That shirt would have been loose whereas now, it clings to my gut. Slowly, but surely, I'm growing. 

I finally picked up the book What to Expect When You're Expecting. I'd been putting it off because 

1. It's a big book-it's intimidating (keep in mind, I've been reading the Game of Throne series, so another giant book was the last thing I wanted to tackle.)

2. I've been so overloaded with baby books that I just needed a break.

..but I am so glad I started reading it because it goes over a LOT of info that I either read 10 weeks ago and can't remember or stuff that I was thinking about and never had a chance to ask my doctor. The only problem with the book is that is basically says everything is bad for you, BUT "if you've already done it, it's okay and there's probably no risk". That makes me a little nervous-the writers don't know how far along the reader is. I wouldn't put in print that "you're most likely okay" for legal purposes. It's a total 180 from the last book I read.

If you haven't yet, check out the book Skinny Bitch: Bun in the Oven (whether yore preggo or not). They basically tell you "who cares how big the risk is, if there's any risk to harming your baby, you're an idiot for even taking a small chance at all". I like their tough love method better. Of course, I haven't gone completely vegan as they suggested, but I've been trying to cut out meats and to get dairy more and more out of my diet. This book was definitely an eye opener, and as I said, eliminating certain foods has totally changed me. 

Over the weekend, I completed my first ever 5K! It was amazing! No, actually, it sucked because we got 12 inches of snow dumped on us the night before and 1.5 miles of the path was through a park, so there was no trail to plow. We ran through deep snow for a good portion of the race, including a two-block incline. Once I got my feet back onto steady ground, my breathing returned to normal and I was able to speed up to the end. I finished in 33:49, which wasn't what I was hoping for, but considering the snow conditions, I'll take it. 

Ready for my first 5K! (My dog, Cato photobombing the picture.)

Of course, I had people saying "Don't push yourself" "Should you even be running?" "Why didn't you walk?" Never at any point did I feel like I was over-doing anything. The hill sucked, and I definitely slowed down to make sure my breathing and heart rate stayed in line, but I've been training weekly for this event since November (before I was even pregnant) so my body is used to being in motion. The baby is fine. I am fine. And no, I did not drink the free beer after the race. Thank you for asking.

Sadly, this week I did have to pull out some old size 6 jeans. I can still fit into my skinny size 4 jeans (ya know, with that stretchy material) but as for non-stretch denim, my booty just doesn't seem to squeeze like it used to. My 6s fit fine. They aren't tight in any way-except the button when I sit down. I'll be excited to buy my first pair of maternity jeans. An elastic waist sound absolutely amazing. For now, a friend taught me a trick of using an elastic band in a figure 8 through the hole and around the button so when I sit, it gives me some stretch. Totally going to try that! 

And finally, last week (13-14 weeks) I felt the baby kick!!! I felt it about 3 different times last week. The first time I told my husband that I thought the baby kicked. We weren't sure it could happen so soon, so we kinda ignored it (after pushing around my belly for a couple minutes) and thought maybe it was my tummy rumbling. I felt it again a few days later and still wasn't too sure. But the third time, I knew. I know my body and what indigestion feels like-this wasn't it. It felt like a heartbeat or something flickering around down there. It only happened for a couple seconds, but it was definitely a kick. And it was definitely one of the most amazing things in the world to realize "hey, you got a baby in that tiny belly of yours". There are still days where I still can't believe I'm pregnant, so that was a very nice reminder that I'm growing a bean in there. 

1/3 of the Way Down!

Okay ya'll. I'm officially in my second trimester. I have to admit, I lost track of how far along I was. I had my appointment yesterday and they let me know I was 12 weeks and 3 days. So now I'm not going to forget anymore! 

So much has changed in these last few weeks. Cravings have subsided (YES!), nausea is a thing of the past, however I have encountered a 5 day heartburn streak a week ago and exhaustion seems to be a daily struggle. I guess it's preparing me for when I have this kiddo. 

We got some updated ultrasound pictures!!! Oh boy, our baby was so mobile. Our little jumping bean.  We received our results, and I got the best news ever: I am a HEALTHY MAMA! Our baby is at a very, very low risk for downs syndrome-even lower risk than the average 25 year old. To me, that made my day. I struggle every day to be healthy and I'm not 100% perfect and feel terrible when I go on sugar binges, have a cup of coffee two days in a row, or that time I accidentally took Advil when I was 5 weeks along. Every little thing sticks with you and I know I'd never forgive myself if something happened to our little donut baby. 

Our baby now has limbs, fingers, toes, and facial features!

I have had TWO different women within a week come up to me and ask if I was pregnant. Therefore, I guess I'm finally showing. I'd be offended, however they were women in my Zumba classes and they know how skinny I usually am. Having a little belly popping out is bound to spark some questions. And my boobies BARELY fit into my bras. When I go home at the end of the month, I'm going shopping. I'm going to get a picture this week of my progress. 

Also, I picked up this AMAZING book I discovered called Skinny Bitch: Bun in the Oven. This book is seriously the best thing I've ever read. It's about what you should be eating while pregnant. In fact, it's about what you should be eating even when you're not pregnant. It's very straight forward about health and what you should be avoiding every single day of your life. If you aren't up for someone criticizing what you eat, don't read it, but if you really want to change your habits and be HEALTHY for your baby-or even just for yourself- please, read this book. 

Skinny Bitch: Bun in the Oven by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin. This book is changing my perspective on being healthy during pregnancy. 

So far, I am changing my habits to avoid: caffeine, decaf, sugar, artificial sweeteners (more-so than sugar), milk and meds. I discovered that hot lemon water is one of my new favorite drinks to replace tea. When I'm feeling like crap, instead of popping Tums like Skittles, I'm going to suck it up and deal with it rather than putting chemicals into my body-let's face it, if I can't deal with a small belly ache, how will I ever handle contractions? I'm considering it practice. 

Of course, I am still teaching Zumba anywhere for 4-6 times a week, plus yoga twice a week and running twice a week. My first 5K is coming up in less than two weeks and I am SO PUMPED! Running 5K's was my new years resolution for 2014. I could have easily told myself "I'm pregnant, so I can't work my way up to 3.2 miles." Well, I'm still not quite there and I don't intend to run the entire time without stopping, but I've still been putting in time and am fairly confident that I can keep a good jogging pace almost the entire time :) 

It still doesn't feel real to me. I don't feel pregnant, rather fatter and lazier, but now that I'm entering my second trimester, I'm so excited to reach new levels and new "firsts". 

10 Again.

I've officially hit week 10 (1/2), the week I thought I was at 3 weeks ago when they told me I really wasn't as far along as they anticipated. I am noticing changes, and let me tell you, I'm not liking them. (Warning, this blog is less factual than it is an actual rant, which I'm sure all mother can relate to.) 

I can no longer suck in. That little bump you get that you can easily hide in pictures by sucking in and looking anorexically skinny? Yeah, that doesn't go in anymore. In fact, it bulges out over my pant line. I feel like I have gained a muffin top that took me two years to get rid of. It's infuriating! I worked so hard to look the way I did and now that I'm seeing some results of this pregnancy, it's a lot harder to accept that I thought it would be. When I touch it, it's hard. It's not soft and fatty, rather solid and womb-like. At least I know it's not just weight gain from my...

It's not big, but I can't seem to suck in that little bulge in the center of my belly these days.  I was trying to show my friend a shirt she bought for me, hoping "outsiders" don't think I'm just putting on some extra winter weight :/

... uncontrollable cravings! I feel like I live off of sugar these days. That's all the baby wants. Sugar, sugar, the occasional burger and fries, sugar, chips, sugar sugar. Everything I want is so unhealthy. I try alternatives, such as high-fiber fruit, veggies, yogurt, granola bars, etc. yet no matter how much I eat, my baby still wants more. It's like I can't stop eating until my body finally feels like I could throw up at any moment-then I know we're full. It's terrible!

The worst part? Everyone telling me what I can or can't do (specifically eating-wise, however childcare is already being brought to my attention, ugh). "Don't be eating processed foods," "Make sure to be very careful about what you eat," "Don't be unhealthy, are you sure you're getting enough minerals?" "You shouldn't be eating so much dessert," "Coffee is bad for you, when I was pregnant, I didn't have any at all and my babies turned out great," "When I was pregnant, I only ate proteins, fruits and vegetables," "Oh, I don't have the problem, I never get cravings," and so on. Well guess what?

SHUT THE *&$% UP! I don't care what you ate in your pregnancy, you also didn't work out as much as I do every day. I don't have acid reflux so for me to stay away from greasy food isn't nearly as easy for me. I can't live off of berries and bland chicken, I'm a connoisseur of gourmet foods and have been my entire life. Coffee is okay as long is you don't exceed the recommended amount-no studies have related birth deficiencies to small doses of coffee yet. I give into my cravings. Is it always healthy? NO, but am I still eating tons of fruit, veggies, and protein on top of that entire chocolate cake I just ate? Yes. 

And yes, I do feel incredibly guilty that I'm filtering such crap into my babies environment and every day is a work in progress to try to avoid an excess of desserts. I got some awesome ideas about buying frozen yogurt (instead of ice cream) and eating it with fruit. I did that last night and only ate half the little container instead of the full thing (which I felt I would have done about 4 nights ago). I also bought a bag of grapes that I'm going to freeze as another snack. I have post-its all over the inside of our pantry and refrigerator reminding me that it's not just about me anymore and I need to be healthy for the baby. I am trying, so outside input is really unappreciated at this point. Thank you. 

I'm going through the same situation with working out as well. My yoga instructor telling me not to do certain things or telling me I'm doing too much when I'm already doing it at 50%. I keep telling her, "I can twist/reach/hold way further than I am right now" and she doesn't realize that me at 50% is still better than half the classroom. I'm not over-doing anything with my body and I'm just tired of people telling me what I can or can't do. I messaged another Zumba instructor who had a baby last summer and taught until 8 months in. She said she didn't change anything that she did, except at the end, she slowed down a bit when her body told her to. I'm good at listening to my body, so guess what? That's the ONLY thing I'm going to be listening to from now on.

The sad part is that this is the official initiation into motherhood and that outside comments are NEVER going to end. So I'm sending out this specific request: instead of telling me what to do, how about you listen to what I am doing, and support it and give me tips that have helped your situation. If you question something that I do, mention the source you heard it from (as in an actual doctor, article, book, etc.) rather than your own experience you had with pregnancy over 30 years ago. That would be GREAT! 

~Frustrated Momma 

Hungry Girl Chocolate Muffins: A Cupcake Alternative

I admit it. I am a sugar addict. I can eat cookies, candy, chocolate, cakes, pastries, or ice cream all day, every day. My biggest downfalls are the sugary treats that people generally think are healthy, but are not: such as muffins! A single muffin can have more calories than a chocolate donut, believe it or not. They are filled with sugar, which is probably why I love to eat them. 

Yesterday, I was watching The Hungry Girl cooking show. Hungry Girl is the brand that generally gives healthy alternatives to your favorite foods. I bought the first cookbook they came out with a few years back and wasn't too thrilled with some of these "healthy" options because they tasted like cardboard, so I was a little iffy with this recipe, but I tried it and found it's edible and even enjoyable. It's no cupcake, but it gave me the chocolate/sugar fill I needed for the day without going overboard. 

Plus, IT'S EASY! You only need 2 ingredients. How perfect? And each muffin is less than 200 calories since you don't add in the fat from eggs and oil. Here's the recipe:

1 box of Devils Food cake mix
1 can of canned pumpkin (make sure it's not pumpkin pie filling)

Mix the two ingredients together. It should get thick and hard to stir towards the end. Scoop into muffin tins. Bake for 20 mins at 400 degrees. Voila! 

One Step Forward, One Giant Leap Back

I FINALLY (after 3 weeks of waiting) had my first drs. appointment at the women's health clinic on Monday. It was exciting to finally ask some questions that have been haunting me since I first heard the news. Even more exciting: being with my husband, getting to see our baby move around and watch the heart beat. Probably one of the coolest things we've done together. Well, that and picking out each of our puppies (they are still all my babies). 

I was a little disappointed with the appointment. I originally scheduled the appt. thinking I was 10 weeks along only to find out that I am now only 7 weeks and 5 days along. I feel like I regressed, even though nothing about me has actually changed. My due date: Sept 12! 

I still feel like they didn't really give me too much info-what I can or can't do, so I'm grateful for the books I've been reading, the Facebook groups I'm in, and the moms that are in my life right now. They have been the best resources. 

I feel like my body is getting bigger. Not fatter, but bigger, like my rib cage is expanding front and back ways. I feel thick. Maybe it's just my imagination. 

I. AM. HUNGRY. My cravings have been nonstop, and extremely ridiculous. I feel like I can barely go an hour without eating. And I have been craving foods I never eat. I don't eat red meat, but my two biggest desires have been:

Burgers
Hotdogs

Followed by junk food I usually avoid

French fries
Potato chips
Tots
Mashed potatoes
Doritos
Cheesy bread

You know something is wrong with me when I actually want McDonalds over pizza. I haven't given in to the fast food industry yet, but G is taking me on a date this weekend to Red Robin for the first time to get burgers and fries. He's so good to me :)

It never occurred to me that I am supposed to be eating more until I read in a book that I should be ingesting about 2300 calories a day. For me, that's a lot! Considering I'm always working out, it's no wonder why I'm always starving. I only have to work on what kind of calories I'm putting in my body. I'm working hard to stick to fruits, veggies, and protein, but let's just say my diet has not been ideal. 

For me, pregnancy is a work in progress. Even though I feel like I just added an extra 3 weeks of waiting for my second trimester, I'm glad I won't have to buy some new pants just yet. 

Week Nine, Not so Fine

I still can't believe I'm a week away from my first appointment. It seems like too much time is passing for me to go with questions unanswered. It also seems like there are things they should have told me not to do until my appt., for ex. drinking caffeine (luckily, I already knew this one and cut back on my own), however there are things that I keep finding out that I'm doing, that I shouldn't such as using acne medication. Who'd have thought? My appointment is on Monday and I have a WHOLE list of questions for them.

Week 9 is already different from week 8. I had no morning sickness last week. This week, I'm not so lucky. I always pictured morning sickness playing out like this: 

You wake up feeling great. Start your day. After about an hour, you feel nauseous, run to the bathroom, and dry heave a bit. Nothing happens. You feel miserable. 20 minutes later, you finally throw up. And then you throw up a few more times before noon and then you're better.  

With a name like "morning sickness" I thought it would be designated to the whole morning. Well, my morning sickness is different. This is how my days have been playing out. 

I wake up. Feel sick. Eat breakfast, and feel better. 30 minutes after I eat my stomach kills. Everything I eat goes right through me (not coming up) and it lasts all day long. I walk around with constant stomach aches and eating only helps me feel better for up to 30 minutes if I'm lucky. Also, I crave foods, and when I put it in front of me, I feel sick to the point of throwing up. Take it away, and 15 minutes later, I'm craving it again. Go to sleep feeling sick. 

I would so much rather have the "morning sickness" I imagined. That way I can tell people I'm out of service until about noon everyday. This thing I've got going on, I never know when I'm going to keel over or have to run to the bathroom. It SUCKS. 

My solution: write down everything I eat and how I feel afterwards. That way, I can start eliminating the foods that make me feel worse. 

Enough about that. Last week I rented a whole stack of books from the library. I've read two: the book of baby names (we already have our list written down of ideas!) and The New Mom's Manual by Mary Jeanne Menna. This book is awesome for first time moms. It basically gives ideas and opinions from other moms. And it's completely unbiased. One mom will say she loves a certain product, another mom will say she hated it. It's great because it gives you different aspects of situations which allows you to think of what will work for yourself, rather than being told what to do.

For example, there's a section in there about disposable diapers v. reusable. I never would have even considered reusable diapers until I read the benefits (keeps baby from breaking out, more comfortable, etc.) and how they are used. I had no idea that there were liners that you flush down the toilet, they came with snaps rather than pins, and how much less they cost. I totally would have considered this option (because let's face it, I'm going to be doing that much laundry every week anyway, what's a few more diapers to throw into each load?) except for one part that really turned me off. Many mothers mentioned with reusable diapers, you usually keep a pail of a baking soda mix by your changing areas to soak the soiled diapers. For me, keeping a pail of water in the house seems gross, tacky, and a recipe for disaster when baby starts moving around. That there made me realize that I want to use disposables, but I'm glad I was able to assess each side first before deciding. 

With disposables being our options, I have already started clipping out coupons, joining the "Pampers exclusive" list for discounts and savings and we're going to start buying diapers now (7 months out) to start stocking up so when the baby gets here, we won't have to worry about that spending money and can use it on other last minute items we'll probably need. 

My biggest challenge that I need to start working on (other than getting through the day without cringing pain) is the dogs. We have three very, very needy pups who always try to get up in my lap and jump on me in the middle of the night to cuddle. It's going to be hard telling them "no" when it's my favorite part about waking up to balls of fluff in my arms, but I don't want any harm to the baby when I start ballooning up. Also, it's going to be a work in progress when the donut baby gets here to make sure they don't get jealous or angry. 

There was one VERY exciting part about my week last week. I went to an ultrasound appointment to have a cyst on my ovary checked out (I made this appt before we even knew we were pregnant and I waited almost a month for it, so I was keeping it!) and at the end, the girl said, "I'm really not supposed to do this but..." she turned the screen and showed me the baby! It was so little! I had a little round head area and a tadpole body. So exciting to think that this little bugger is causing me so much grief!  I love every second of it :)

With a New Year comes New Life.

Twelve days ago my life changed. January third was the date that I found out that I was pregnant. Well, more specifically, January third was the day I had my first of three positive pregnancy test. 

Of course, being a married women, I am extremely excited to get this news. There is no better news I can expect at this point in my life, other than maybe winning the mega million lottery, which we don't even have in Alaska, so this news was the peak. However, even though we were trying, I don't quite think I'm ready for all that is going to get thrown at me. 

I am a fitness instructor. I teach Zumba 4 days a week and was trying to add an extra class to my schedule this season. Working out is usually the focus of any given day in my life. Being pregnant, I know that things are going to get even harder for me, and will eventually have to come to a halt for a while, which to me, is unthinkable. 

Another thing I'm worried about is my eating. People think I'm a healthy eater because I'm a thin instructor, but they're wrong. I do not eat fast food and I avoid red meat, however I do have a sugar obsession and snack foods always get to me in between my meals more often than not. My husband and I can go through an entire large bag of chips in a weekend, easily. And that doesn't even include the chili cheese dip that we dip them in. I can even eat an entire pizza in one sitting if I wanted to. In fact, it was done about 3 weeks ago. 

Now, I'm stuck trying to watch everything that goes into my belly. I'm no longer eating for 1, rather for two so it's going to take a lot of commitment and creativity during these next 7 months or so. 

So how far along am I? According to the "when was the start of your last period" I should be about 8 weeks along. I have no idea, though. I took a pregnancy test two weeks before we found out and that one came out negative, which means it was either not showing yet (5 weeks after this said date) or I wasn't pregnant. My first appointment is on the 27th and I'm hoping to gain some insight then. 

The only people who know right now are close friends and family. I'm waiting until I have an actual due date to announce. And, if you know me at all, I like being creative with communicating. At week 7 I told my family, and this is how it went down:

P.S. Don't mail a pregnancy test to your parents when their thermometer just broke and they needed to buy a new one. 

At 8 weeks, where am I?

~My boobs have grown HUGE overnight as of week 6 and they hurt. But they do look hot :) I'll enjoy this while it lasts. 

~No morning sickness! Hooray! I apologize to all of you mommies out there hunched over the toilet every morning. Really, I feel it for you. My biggest fear was getting sick during one of my classes. I can cross that one off of my giant list of fears. 

~I am WIPED. Exhausted. I still work out 5-6 times a week as I usually do, but it takes a little more out of me to get it going. In fact, I can tell that my boobs aren't the only thing bigger. My legs are thicker, which is my motivation to stop using couch days as an excuse and kick pregnancy's butt, in a healthy way of course. 

~Everyone pisses me off. I'm easily angered. I think I honked and flicked off everyone I passed in traffic yesterday on my way home. Of course, people were driving 50 on a 65. But still, the little things I usually shake off are not so easy to ignore these days. Thankfully, my amazing hubby had flowers and Reese's cups at home waiting for me, knowing I was very upset about the traffic. As mentioned above, sugar is a great way to my heart. 


This post is my introduction to my whole journey. Why read my posts? I am an army wife, living in Alaska with three dogs, a baby on the way and loves to work out. There are so many women out there in similar situations and I know reading their personal blogs have helped me stay calm. Plus, the internet has multiple opinions on everything, yet sources are not always reliable. I love personal testimony over an article which may or may not be true. 

Comment if you have posts, input, ideas, or even comments. Support goes a long way and I could use some other ladies to keep me going! 

Lots of love.