I can no longer suck in. That little bump you get that you can easily hide in pictures by sucking in and looking anorexically skinny? Yeah, that doesn't go in anymore. In fact, it bulges out over my pant line. I feel like I have gained a muffin top that took me two years to get rid of. It's infuriating! I worked so hard to look the way I did and now that I'm seeing some results of this pregnancy, it's a lot harder to accept that I thought it would be. When I touch it, it's hard. It's not soft and fatty, rather solid and womb-like. At least I know it's not just weight gain from my...
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| It's not big, but I can't seem to suck in that little bulge in the center of my belly these days. I was trying to show my friend a shirt she bought for me, hoping "outsiders" don't think I'm just putting on some extra winter weight :/ |
... uncontrollable cravings! I feel like I live off of sugar these days. That's all the baby wants. Sugar, sugar, the occasional burger and fries, sugar, chips, sugar sugar. Everything I want is so unhealthy. I try alternatives, such as high-fiber fruit, veggies, yogurt, granola bars, etc. yet no matter how much I eat, my baby still wants more. It's like I can't stop eating until my body finally feels like I could throw up at any moment-then I know we're full. It's terrible!
The worst part? Everyone telling me what I can or can't do (specifically eating-wise, however childcare is already being brought to my attention, ugh). "Don't be eating processed foods," "Make sure to be very careful about what you eat," "Don't be unhealthy, are you sure you're getting enough minerals?" "You shouldn't be eating so much dessert," "Coffee is bad for you, when I was pregnant, I didn't have any at all and my babies turned out great," "When I was pregnant, I only ate proteins, fruits and vegetables," "Oh, I don't have the problem, I never get cravings," and so on. Well guess what?
SHUT THE *&$% UP! I don't care what you ate in your pregnancy, you also didn't work out as much as I do every day. I don't have acid reflux so for me to stay away from greasy food isn't nearly as easy for me. I can't live off of berries and bland chicken, I'm a connoisseur of gourmet foods and have been my entire life. Coffee is okay as long is you don't exceed the recommended amount-no studies have related birth deficiencies to small doses of coffee yet. I give into my cravings. Is it always healthy? NO, but am I still eating tons of fruit, veggies, and protein on top of that entire chocolate cake I just ate? Yes.
And yes, I do feel incredibly guilty that I'm filtering such crap into my babies environment and every day is a work in progress to try to avoid an excess of desserts. I got some awesome ideas about buying frozen yogurt (instead of ice cream) and eating it with fruit. I did that last night and only ate half the little container instead of the full thing (which I felt I would have done about 4 nights ago). I also bought a bag of grapes that I'm going to freeze as another snack. I have post-its all over the inside of our pantry and refrigerator reminding me that it's not just about me anymore and I need to be healthy for the baby. I am trying, so outside input is really unappreciated at this point. Thank you.
I'm going through the same situation with working out as well. My yoga instructor telling me not to do certain things or telling me I'm doing too much when I'm already doing it at 50%. I keep telling her, "I can twist/reach/hold way further than I am right now" and she doesn't realize that me at 50% is still better than half the classroom. I'm not over-doing anything with my body and I'm just tired of people telling me what I can or can't do. I messaged another Zumba instructor who had a baby last summer and taught until 8 months in. She said she didn't change anything that she did, except at the end, she slowed down a bit when her body told her to. I'm good at listening to my body, so guess what? That's the ONLY thing I'm going to be listening to from now on.
The sad part is that this is the official initiation into motherhood and that outside comments are NEVER going to end. So I'm sending out this specific request: instead of telling me what to do, how about you listen to what I am doing, and support it and give me tips that have helped your situation. If you question something that I do, mention the source you heard it from (as in an actual doctor, article, book, etc.) rather than your own experience you had with pregnancy over 30 years ago. That would be GREAT!
~Frustrated Momma
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