I can't believe how much easier and harder things get at the same time. Life seems to be constant. When one thing goes up, another thing goes down, like in that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine and George trade their ups and downs but Jerry stays balanced. If you know the episode I'm talking about, then consider yourself a closer friend than we were 30 seconds ago.

Ryan is such a grown boy. He's almost out of his 0-3 month clothes and getting into his big boy 6 month sizes. He has SO much clothes now, and I know people are going to keep sending more and more. We have enough to seriously last until his first birthday. I am so grateful to have too much than to have too little, however with the holidays going on, I almost want to just go donate half of his closet to families that have nothing. I ordered a bunch of Dr. Suess books for him, and the exact day they came in the mail was the day I read that the Zumba charity event I was working was looking for children's books for a center that is a safe house for abused woman. I donated them instead of hoarding them on our shelves with the other books that we have. We have so much, why not give to people who don't? That's what civilization is SUPPOSED to be about-however so many people have thrown the concept of community out the window for consumerism.

Big Boy chillin on the couch

ANYWAY... Ry is getting more and more used to day care!!!! It's SUCH a relief to me. Last week, he was in day care 4 times, and then at the event I went to on Saturday, he got passed around to different people. He's getting to the point where he doesn't cry the entire time lol. It seriously lifts a giant weight off my shoulders knowing 1. He isn't miserable the whole time and 2. He's getting used to other people instead of just me. I use his day care time to go to the gym and either teach or just work out for me. That hour of me time is what gets me through every day. Without it, I think I'd be super edgy and angry. I even went to my first yoga class since pre-baby and it felt AMAZING! My body is thankful.

My mommy fail of the week: Every year, I make a family Christmas cookie recipe. I made them on Friday. I ate so many cookies that night that the next two days, Ryan's poop smelled like a bakery! He pooped, and I salivated for cookies. Haha! Just a friendly reminder that what I eat still affects his sweet little body. I am such a sugar addict, but I really am trying to be good for his nutritional needs. And mine, I guess.

Oh, so I mentioned that life is staying constant. Ryan is getting better at day care, but he's getting worse at sleeping. This kid resists sleep like it's his job. It could be that I'm forcing him to start naps and bedtime (when we're home) in his crib rather than the swing or just sleeping in my arms. Or, we'll have a  really good morning getting everything ready to go for a busy day and then Belle suddenly gets conjunctivitis in her eye and it's huge and red so I have to start antibiotics and I'm terrified to leave her alone all day. It's just stuff like that.

<3

I still don't know when G is coming home. I have better odds at guessing a coin toss at this point. It makes it even more stressful because visitors tell me, "Well, we'll wait and see what his plans are before we visit." Well, plans change every freaking day in the army and nothing, and I mean NOTHING is 100%. Ever. And even if he did get to come home early, I still won't get to see him except for weekends and possibly before I go to sleep. I would still appreciate help with the baby (which is why people want to visit in the first place). He doesn't work a 9-5 job. I don't think people quite get that. Oh well. It's going to be a long winter.. and I know it.

The good news is today is winter solstice!!! Which means that it's the darkest day in Alaska and tomorrow, we start gaining sunlight. I have to make sure my runs are before 9:30 and 3, otherwise I might get stuck in the dark and I don't want to risk my baby getting hit. It'll be nice to have a bigger window to go for a run. It's been snowing today, but I went for a run nonetheless. I am a competitive person, even with myself. If a challenge presents itself, I like to be able to tell myself that I did it. However, I also have to be careful not to overdo anything so I have full energy to teach my classes. That's priority! Teaching is the one thing that's mine at this point, and I'm not letting that go.

In case you haven't picked this up from my other posts... my little man has stolen my heart!!! When he takes long naps in the day (which is he right now) I miss him! And I get excited when I hear him wake up so I can give his cuddles and kisses and see his sweet smile. I was telling another spouse last night that I was never really a baby person and I really don't like kids, but I'm obsessed with my man and now I love all babies and am starting to appreciate kids. I think she was surprised (I'm guessing she has a similar outlook that I did). I am just constantly surprised at how much I didn't know about life and love until he came into my life. Every day is so exciting with him and seeing all of the tiny accomplishments he makes that are a huge deal!

Trying out some new things

He's at the point where he's really good at grabbing his toys and he wants to put EVERYTHING in his mouth. Oh boy, I now have to watch everything that I give him and what his surroundings are. Once he starts moving, it's all over. He still isn't rolling over. He's close, but  I think it'll be a few more weeks til he gets there. I think the grossest part about motherhood right now is sucking boogers out of his nose with those nasal aspirators! *GAG* And this is coming from a person who wipes eye boogers from her lab's eyes about 100 times a day.

I am also convinced that every baby has that one outfit that is doomed to have a poop explosion no matter when he wears it, or how many times you change that diaper. His outfit before was his white bear jammies. He always had accidents in it. This time, it's a white onesie (it's always white!) with stripes on it. I'm mad because it's one that his Nana Shel gave him before she passed away, but he ALWAYS poops on it. What a stinker. This is why we can't have nice things....

This is his poop one-sie :(

I am so excited for Christmas this year!!! I love that I have someone to share it with who will one day be as excited as I am. This year, I'll have 5 dogs in my house for Christmas!! I can't wait. I'm such a nut. I picture it as one giant furball cuddle fest. I wish I could say I'm excited for G to open his gifts... but he already opened what I got him. I really want to break into Mariah's, "All I want for Christmas is Youuuuuu" when I think about him not being here. It's taking all of me not to let that bring me down this year. All I can say is thank goodness for Skype and FB chat.

My baby is still asleep. I should probably go do a breathing check on him. Love to you all!!!