Father's Day and other stuff

I miss updating my life on a weekly basis, but ever since this kid starting moving around, I have not sat down. I'm slowly losing my sanity, but it's totally adorable at the same time. This weekend we had our first FATHER'S DAY along with a few other firsts that I'll catch ya'll up on. Father's Day was awesome!! Well, at least I had a good time with it. Ryan got his daddy remote start for the truck (we drop it off this week) along with some other car accessories (wipes, wash mitt, air fresheners) and this pretty sweet picture frame that is in the shape of the letters D-A-D. He also got a slice of cookie cake and some orange cream sodas. Not going to lie, I had a BLAST shopping and putting random stuff together for him. I can't wait for his birthday in August!!!! I already know what he's getting. Anyway..

That morning, we woke up way too early. I think Ry is beginning to get a few more teeth starting to poke through 'cause he was miserable last week/weekend. He woke us up before 5 (which isn't abnormal) but then he was too fussy to play yet too fussy to sleep. After a while, we put him down for a nap and even tried to lay back in bed ourselves and get extra shut eye. I don't know if during that hour of in and out snoozing that Ry slept at all. We finally got our butts out of bed and got ready to go to the lake!!!

There's this big lake not too far from our house (which is awesome!) We had been to one part of it for a family day for G's work, but this time we were going onto a part of it from the South Carolina side. We got dressed and I took my man to get McDonald's breakfast as part of the celebration. (Side note: it took me almost 20 mins to get out of there with my order-worst McDonalds employees ever. I don't usually eat fast food so I don't know if this is the norm or not, but I was not happy to have to wait that long for my morning caffeine. What a cruel, cruel joke.) After a couple hash browns and some overly sugary coffees, we were off!

I didn't realize how incredibly big this thing was! I mean, it's no Lake Michigan or anything, but it was a heck of a lot bigger than my first impression. We met a couple friends at a less popular side of the beach so we could take the dogs without getting into trouble. Oh how I've missed the beach and sand between my toes!!! (My feet are super exfoliated btw). We brought Belle and she LOVED the water. It's amazing how our laziest dog can act like a little crazy, energetic puppy when she gets to go anywhere and meet new people and other dogs. She was so tired, but she just kept swimming to her little hearts desire and snorting like a piggie to fight the exhaustion. The water was so warm, so we took Ry in and let him swim around. It was great! Although, a fish bit me on the ankle. I was not too thrilled about that part. I think a part of me hates nature a little more each time I get out there cause something ALWAYS happens! Don't get me started...

After the lake, we were wiped. Ry and Belle passed out completely (he had drool as I took him out of the car and I'm pretty sure Belle has been in a coma for the past 48 hours). G had to work on a paper for class the rest of the day, which kind of sucked, but I let him break our 1-pizza-a-week rule for lunch, and then I made him lasagna for dinner (one of his favs). Other than the homework, I think it was a pretty successful Father's Day!

The beach

As for our baby-he's getting so grown up! I know, I know, I say this every time. He's starting to pull himself up a little bit. The only problem is that we don't really have any furniture that's his height to pull up on, so he doesn't get to practice as much as he'd like. The first time he did it was in the bathtub in the laundry basket (he takes baths in a laundry basket so his toys will stay close to him, allowing him to play more). Then yesterday, he found our baby gate and pulled himself up by the bars. Today while doing laundry, I decided to put him in the basket, and he kept pulling himself up and down over and over. Oh my! I can't believe we're already to the next phase. I'm still trying to catch up with his crawling.

He's an explorative crawler, too. He's now trying to discover every nook and cranny of the apartment. If I leave the room, he can come after me. This weekend, G discovered him nestling himself behind the couch (which is against a wall, but it leaves a little crack because of the couch's angel). I'm so glad he caught the stinker because I never would have found him back there! He's so mischievous and adorable. I can't handle his cuteness. Oh, and today he tried to pull himself up to standing by using my hair. He was so proud of himself as I was trying not to go bald.

Standing in my basket of laundry

Today, we did another first. We played catch together! It wasn't fancy-we were maybe 18 inches away from each other- but I'd bounce him a ball, and he'd pick it up and do his version of throwing it to me. We went back and forth for a good 5 minutes. It was awesome. So fantastically, unpredictably awesome.

My mom came and visited us a couple weekends ago. We had a great time! We went into downtown Augusta and took a boat down the canals. It felt so historically southern. I loved it. Other than that, we relaxed and she got to take Ryan swimming and just to have her be with us was a treat. She's officially retired!!! Which means I'm counting on her for more Grandma duty! It was funny because at first, Ryan didn't really know how to take her in. When she Skypes with us, he's all smiles with her on the computer. I think he was confused as to why she was 3D. But he warmed up to her and got to have some good one and one time with his grandma.

xoxoxo

I feel like these past few days have either been extremely good or extremely terrible. I lost it the other day. Ry woke me up super early the whole week straight. I was exhausted. It was 5:30 and Cato threw up. We ran out of paper towels the day before, so I was lucky enough to have small napkins from Sonic that didn't quite absorb anything rather spread it around, followed up by a round of Lysol wipes. Ry was just super fussy, wasn't pleased at anything (like I said, could have been teething), it had been the third day in a row that he'd made my workout either cut short or nonexistent, it was already too hot to go for a run by 6:30, tried to get him down for a nap and then Belle threw up, and it was just a hectic morning on top of an already stressful week. It sucked. I think I vented to G more times last week than I have in our whole relationship. Luckily, he's very understanding and has really stepped up to try to help me out these past couple days.

I signed up for this boxing fitness center called 9Round. It's a 30 minute workout with 9 stations (or rounds) and they give you workouts to do for 3 minute rounds, then you rotate. It's a lot of fun and I got pink boxing gloves. What I've been doing is waiting for G to come home from work (since I can't go with the baby) and he takes him, gets him ready for bed and stuff while I go work out. It's honestly so helpful knowing that I can leave and just get an hour to myself and beat the crap out of my stress. Today, I shin-kicked the shit out of the swinging bag and it felt good ;) Since it was probably 90 degrees by 7am today, I also stopped by the gym in our complex and did a quick 2 1/2 mile run on the treadmill. I came home in the most wonderfully exhausted state. Something I hope I can make happen every day somehow.

I think I'm going to just come to terms with the fact that I won't teach Zumba out here. We're only here for 6 months. The summer schedules were already done by the time we got out here, and if I even attempt looking to get on the fall schedule, then I get 2 months of teaching and have to break it to everyone that I'm leaving. Maybe these 6 months are my way of just finding something new (boxing had been one of my new years resolutions for a while now) and focusing on other aspects of my life until our next station. As much as I absolutely love to teach, I think I'm okay with having a 6 month break. Plus, I still do Zumba in my living room every week.

Those are all the updates for now. It has been insanely hot out every day. Like... 100+ degrees every day. My goal is to be as naked as possible this summer without showing my personal parts to anyone. My body made an adjustment to Alaskan winters, so humidity and heat are killing me right now. But I love it! xoxoxoxo!

9 Months

Ry is officially as old as I was pregnant! Wow. So much has gone on these past 9 months-I can't believe I actually let him live inside of me for that long. Pregnancy is a LONG thing. You almost forget how never-ending it seems when you are sleep deprived and trying to get through one day at a time.

Let's see, what has my little man been up to lately? He's a creepy crawler. He explores everything and I absolutely love watching him try to crawl out the room. He's so incredibly tiny when you compare his little chunk legs to the expanse of a doorway. He's just such a person. He sees something, wants it, and just crawls towards it. I love it! I still remember trying to enclose his fingers around a toy and getting excited when he'd hold it for 3 seconds. It's amazing how young mischief begins. This boy's favorite things to crawl to are dog toys. I don't understand. He has balls. But if the dog has a ball, that's the one he will crawl halfway around the room to get. I don't know if it's wanting what you can't have, jealousy, inability to share or maybe all of the above. I'd be lying if I said this boy has never has a rawhide in his mouth.

He sits up on his own and he drinks out of cups. I bought him a cup with a straw and he drinks it all on his own. It's a kid's cup so it's pretty much the size of his face, but he drinks it like it's his job. This morning, he started sticking his tongue out and spitting at me. Such a stinker. Nothing like celebrating your 9 month bday than making toot noises at your mom. What a boy. But he's honestly such a silly, kind-hearted boy and I love him more and more to pieces. I honestly don't think my heart can take anymore. I feel like I want to break down crying anytime I see something that has anything to do with loving your child.

There was a book in Target named something along the lines of Stay My Baby. It was saying things like, "I want to you to stay my baby forever so we can cuddle forever. But if you were a baby forever, then I'd never get to see you.." and then described a bunch of milestones that kids hit as they grow up. TEARS. Tears streaming down my face in Target. I got so choked up because it hit home base. I really don't want this boy to ever grow up because right now, we're having the most amazing time together, but I know it's inevitable and I know that more great things are heading my way (until he's a teen, then I grit my teeth til he's off to college).

As for life in GA, it's interesting on a few different levels. I thought I'd miss Alaska a lot more than I do. Honestly, I don't even think about it. I don't miss the mountains. I don't miss the sunlight and the beautiful Alaskan summers. I don't miss a lot of the people there. There are a few, yes, but the majority-not really. Alaska never felt like home to me, and I feel like I have more bad memories of my experiences there than good. Which is saying a lot because that's where I got married, twice and we got two of our babies (Denali and Ry) there. And I honestly thought I was happy there, but looking back, I think I did a really great job at just kidding myself and staying positive and now that it's done, I can say how much I hate the state, the people, and I never see myself going back. Ever. Alaska is a bad taste in my mouth and it took leaving it to realize it.

I do love Georgia. I do love the sun, the heat, the pools and the nice people out here, but I'm awfully lonely. I don't have a job nor do I really think I'm going to have one. We're only here for 6 months. When it comes to teaching Zumba, the summer schedules are pretty much all out, and if I start teaching somewhere in the fall, it's like.. September, October, okay bye! We're off to wherever it is next. To me, this is a big issue. I now am just a housewife. There's nothing wrong with being a housewife, but this isn't what I went to school and got a degree for (I know teaching Zumba isn't either, but I was using that experience to open my own studio or gym one day). And it's extremely lonely. During the work week, my car is the only one left in the parking lot. Our neighbors all work. Without a job, I don't have people that I can go out and meet. I don't have a group where we have at least one thing in common. And I'm a shy person. I'm not really good at going up to someone and asking them to hang out. I know shyness is one of my biggest flaws and it often makes me come off a a bitch, but I'm a very closed person and I think I always have been. I like to get to know someone before I let them into my life and I absolutely hate big groups and social events where they just expect you to show up and meet people. I need intimacy. And I'm torn between needing friendship and thinking maybe I should just be a hermit for these 6 months so I don't have to do goodbyes all over again before the end of the year.

Not only is it hard to meet people, but I'm disappointed in my current family and friends situation. SO many of my friends gave the excuse, "Alaska is so expensive to get to! I'm sorry I can't visit. Let me know when you're in the (lower 48)." Or, "Once you get to GA, I want to come visit!" But no one is really making any initiative. Of course a few are, the ones who would go to the moon and back just to have drinks with me on my bday, but it's really making me realize that Alaska was only an excuse for, "I really don't have time to show you that we're friends. Thanks for going out of your way for me in the past, but I'm over it." And you're probably saying, "hello! It's a two-way road!" No. I still have a baby and I think people fail to realize how incredibly hard it is for me just to get through every freaking day with him and these dogs, let alone get on a plane. I don't have grandma and grandpa down the street to help out. Hell, I don't even have friends or a babysitter to call. We barely even have money right now because we had to re-stock our entire house with food and toilet paper and stuff and we're waiting on reimbursements from our move out here. I feel like every day is a financial struggle. And the fact that I don't work only adds to my stress. But I guess like me, we're all busy.

My mom is coming out here next week though and I'm beyond belief excited. It'll be so nice to have someone to talk to about things. Real things. Not the ABCs or, "did the dogs go out yet?" I will have someone who can just watch Ryan while I take the dogs outside-individually without worrying if Ryan's choking on electrical wires of some sort. Maybe I'll even be able to take them to the dog park! It'll just be nice to have someone. And not just anyone, but someone whom I love and like hanging out with. Someone who is my family and friend at the same time and doesn't care that I have psycho little dogs who drive everyone nuts by invading personal space for attention 24/7. Plus, not many people care about babies unless it's their own. I know some people go, "oh, he's cute" but Grandma is the only one I can really go on and on and on about the stupid little things Ryan does every day and know that I'm not completely boring her. Grandmas are pretty great.

Back to GA life. The thing about living in golf country is that going for a run is dreadful! The hills are ass-whooping! Trying to run 1 mile uphill in the heat is enough to make nap time want to crawl back into my life. Oh, and then add the stroller with a 20 pound baby to the mixture. Excruciating. I've been running 2-3x a week and I'm just now starting to feel like I don't want to die halfway through my 5K course. I'm hoping these hills will give me some extra strength and buns of steel. It's hard staying motivated to work out at home when I don't have a gym to go to or childcare to drop Ryan off and have some time to just do me. But I've been on track for the most part and I'm hoping I stick to it. Exercise is the only thing I have right now that's mine. Thankfully, Ryan loves going on runs in his stroller. He stays super content in there and sometimes even doses off. It's great.

The dogs have been behaving very well. For the most part. They are doing really well going out about 4 times a day, individually without a yard to run around in. Cato and Denali are doing really well off leash. Belle, on the other hand, it a bit of a loose cannon. The other day, the most embarrassing thing happened. I went to take Denali out. I'm putting the leash on him and as the door is closing, Belle decides to push her way through and take off downstairs (we live on the 2nd floor). I have to unleash Denali and get him inside because me calling her back was not working. I sprint down the stairs, yelling at her and she runs up to a family who is packing their car for a vacation. The door is open. There are children inside. The moms are looking at me like, "Get this dog away from us" but refusing to hold her or help (my sister is extremely allergic to dogs, and she can't touch them without breaking into hives, so my first thought was maybe they're allergic. Nope, just useless.) I see Belle hesitate. I'm getting closer and I say, "Don't you dare get into that car." She gets in. She jumps in next to a little boy and makes herself at home. I'm sitting there yelling at her, but not to the point that I look like THAT lady, and apologizing profusely. The woman who was not helpful wouldn't even get out of the doorway to let me try to get Belle out. So I went around to the other side to the other woman who was at least trying to get her by the collar. I get her out. Appologzie for the millionth time, and drag her ass up the stairs by the collar. I was so incredibly livid. She was disciplined and caged for the remainder of the day. I rarely let her off leash anymore. The cute part though is that at the end of the day when I finally freed her, she spent the whole night sucking up to me and trying to stay by my side and give me kisses. Such a ham. I'm still waiting from a call from management saying that the neighbors have been having problems with our dogs off the leash. They're still on vacation so we'll see.

I just finished reading Amy Poehler's book, Yes Please. Amazing. I bought this book as a Christmas present to myself, hoping to read it at the beginning of the year. I finally cracked it open a few weeks before the move, hoping that life without cable/internet would give me some downtime to read. Nope. I finally started chapter 1 last week and couldn't put it down (except the million times that Ryan made me because he was crying, screaming, fussy or crawling towards another dog toy.) I don't really even know why I bought the book because I didn't think Amy was funny at all. I'm not a huge SNL chicks (Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Kristin Wiig, Maya Rudolph, etc.) kind of girl. But I do love her now. I do. She has wonderful insight about life and it was very inspirational. She not only gave me inner peace with my self and my life, but she gave me confidence. However, the only downfall is that having confidence when you don't have any kind of socialization is useless and practically non-existent. It's hard to believe in myself when I'm at a point in my life where every single goal I have is on standby until our next station. Like, "Yeah, you'll be a really great instructor! And I bet you'll get a great job and meet amazing people! In six months..." Hopefully her smart words stick in my brain for next year. I doubt I'm going to have people telling me, "Wow! You did those dishes so well today. I know it was a huge challenge but you stepped right up and showed us your true talent and strength." But this is where life has currently taken me and I have to accept it. Like most things, it's just a phase and this too shall pass, so I may as well live in every moment with my boy while I still can.

Okay my wonderful people. I'm going to leave you with a quote from Amy's book that I loved. Come visit. Keep in touch. Xoxo.

"If you can surf your life rather than plant your feet, you will be happier." ~Yes Please. (If you want further insight as to why this is, read her book!)