My love handles and ass. These are two aspects of my curvy out-of-the-ordinary white girl figure that took lots of hard work at the gym (and the kitchen) to get rid of. Seeing my love handles disappear was a huge accomplishment for me, so now that my mother bearing hips have grown them back, I tend to get extremely frustrated looking in the mirror. I normally wouldn't post a silhouette picture that makes them clearer than day, however I am doing it to show the truth that pregnancy is not as "cute' and "adorable" as it's cracked up to be. And the worst part is that there is nothing I can do in the gym to get rid of them-it's just how my body handles weight. My badonkadonk-same deal. It's frustrating to have a big belly, and then some junk in the trunk. I just look like a freaking infinity sign. Okay, I'll stop ranting about my beautiful, maternal body and move on.
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| 23 week silhouette. |
Binge eating has slowed down in comparison to the last few weeks. I feel like I actually have days where I'm in control! Yay! This boy is craving hot dogs, so I think I've gone through two packs of Ballpark franks in the last 2 weeks. That phase is over now, and my husband is grateful.
At my last check up, my doctor told me that I have a big baby. Big, as in 95th percentile big. Big, as in "you may be further along that we're predicting" big. Which is fine if I have the baby a little sooner than expected, although we still are crossing our fingers for Sept. 9th as his due date. However, I am not okay with popping out a 10 pound turkey from my oven. Both my husband and I were big babies-which is unsettling. I get it, women's bodies are meant to give birth to babies of all sizes, and just because I have a big baby doesn't necessarily mean I'll tear, and with meds, I may not feel anything, and blah blah blah. That's great, I still want my baby to be between 7 and 8 pounds. Hopefully as we get closer to the due date, we will know more about how accurate his sizing is.
I get bigger by the day. I teach Zumba and every week, I have people saying, "wow, you're so much bigger than last week!" Am I? I should only be gaining like... 1/2-1 lb a week so it worries me that I'm looking more like a marine sea mammal every 7 days.
Believe it or not, I'm not in a bad mood while writing this. I'm actually very high-spirited at the moment and super excited about the next few weeks. We finally got a house available to live on base, so we move in 2 1/2 weeks, which means I start decorating the nursery way sooner than I thought! I am PUMPED. Also, as of this weekend, we are officially registered at Babies r Us and Target. Let me tell you, I am a shopper. I love shopping, decorating, planning, and coordinating, but I DO NOT like registering. I honestly can't even tell you what we registered for because it was so overwhelming and after a while, G and I just kept pulling random things to scan. We definitely reached our limit, but the good news is its over with, and we've covered all the main necessities.
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| Another reason I don't want a giant baby: I want him to fit into this newborn outfit we got for when he comes home from the hospital!!! It's so little :) |
Except one: a diaper bag. I am a girl who loves my purses. Coach is probably my favorite brand and I have more purses than I ever need--all used and loved however. I somehow end up buying myself a new purse every year as a reward for just being alive and carrying things with me. It's an obsession and I'm trying to stop. This sickness means that finding the perfect diaper bag to carry around with me every day is nearly impossible. I'm a girl who likes fine leather, not square-like totes, so I'm going to really have to do my browsing and find something I can be happy with. Let's face it-for me to spend $400 on a diaper bag with a baby on the way means that I truly should be going to therapy. At least I know when to stop. I just don't want to settle.
These have been my updates. It's already a long post, so feel free to stop reading (who knows, maybe you already had) but I want to sit back and reflect on motherhood for a few more paragraphs.
I am going to be a good mother. I know this because I already am. I am a crazy dog lady to 3 dogs, but they make me such a good mommy that I know a baby will be a snap (yes, I am aware that babies are different than dogs and have different needs). Three crazy, needy dogs. They have tested my patience many a times. I think my patience levels have developed beyond regular growth rates. I have mastered the practice of taking deep breathes through frustration without yelling and grown to realize that every single thing I buy has the potential to get broken, eaten, or stained. I like nice things, so this was not a fun lesson to learn, but I have.
When we first got our chocolate lab in Georgia, she had diarrhea for the first 5 months and would continuously wake us up through the night. My record for times getting up in the night is 12. 12 times in one night. And we didn't have a yard, so we had to take her outside, on a leash and stand in the dark waiting for her to do her thing. It was dreadful, and I am prepared for sleepless nights as such.
Along those lines are waking up to messes. Cleaning up diarrhea, vomit, or huge pee puddles at 3:30 in the morning is not fun, but it's part of motherhood. I think the best was a couple weeks ago when I suddenly felt nauseous, laid down and 20 seconds later witnessed Cato projectile vomit all over his doggie bed. Did I mention he had just eaten breakfast-none of which was digested? You don't get breaks to yourself when you're a mom. I already know and experience that part.
These dogs follow me around EVERYWHERE! I imagine it'll be the same with kids, except instead of not being able to leave a room without tripping over a dog, it'll be not being able to leave a room with hearing "mom!" for every little thing. As a mom, I am a popular choice for all needs.
I also brush my dog's teeth every morning, give my other dog eye drops twice a day, every day (probably for the rest of her life) in addition to antibiotic drops twice a day in her right eye, have been taking my "fat" dog for weekly walks every single week (yes, through the winter) for her to lose weight, and have been through countless other medical procedures for these critters to make sure that they are healthy throughout the years. And if pulling string from a dog's butt isn't motherhood, then I don't know what is.
Lastly, to emphasize my point of crazy dog lady status, I celebrate each dog's birthday. This past weekend was Denali's first birthday. Not only did I bake doggie cupcakes, but we took him on a morning hike and bought him a new frisbee. We do this for each dog. In fact, when they hear the "happy birthday" song, they all get excited because they think they are getting treats. I love these dogs with all my heart, and I go above and beyond caring for them because that's what mothers do. I think my point is is that people tend to always say, "Well, you don't really know how hard it is to be a mom," or "wait til the baby wakes you up 5 times a night" or other statements like that. Labor is something I am terrified of because I haven't experienced it, but as for being a mom- I am more than prepared for the next 18 years of living like a full-time Zombie who is needed every second of every day. I am ready, and I am excited.
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| My little Denali's first birthday celebration. |
